No matter how you look at things, and no matter how many times you decide to “look away”, there are many instances, and may issues in our lives that will keep coming back to haunt us, until we have rightly dealt with them.
A great Donald Trump quote “The image of success is important, but even more important is the ability to focus on solutions instead of on problems. That way, you'll never be thinking like a loser, and you probably won't look like one either.”
Another thing I have learned in my “oh so many” years of learning, is that “As soon as you change the way you look at things, things change!”
This is very important. Think of any instance, any situation, or any relationship you have ever been in, or are in at this moment.
Realize that the energy you put on it , is what will manifest.
Say for instance you are in, very hypothetically speaking of course, a very “difficult and trying relationship” with your partner.
Every time you are about to head home to see them, you already know the outcome. You will walk in the door, feel that sense of anxiousness, from the last interaction, and feel the sense of insecurity. Perhaps loneliness, and misunderstanding within the relationship. Your feelings are not heard, they don’t care enough to listen, and you just wish, for once, they could be more “in tune” with your concerns; your responsibilities, as you so very much are with theirs.
All of these thoughts are going around in your head at this moment, and the moments before you walked in the door. Moments before you left the office, moments before and after you got off the phone with them throughout the day, which had you also thinking of why why why the conversation went the way it did, which was not to your liking, again.
And then, you spend perhaps too much time focusing on the relationship and the communication that is lacking in the relationship, when you both get home from the office and have time to sit down together to discuss the “fun for the weekend”… Obviously this conversation is not screaming “fun” as much as it is just simply “screaming.”
Why is this? We want it to work. We want it so badly to work.
(This is all hypothetical, because we all know we are all in the most effortless, loving, carefree and trusting relationship right now with our partners! I will tell you why I know this! Because everything is a state of mind, reality is our perception. So you can decide something is going to work, or not work. And obviously, all of our lives, my life especially, we have all decided up to now, that every relationship is going to succeed. We put our heart into all of them, with love, compassion, and a positive state of mind! Right? Of course, why would we have life any other way? We are most certainly not the common denominator to all the failed relationships, that would be silly.)
My point to this fictional example is that we may want something, so badly, but we are not putting the energy to good use.
If you look at something as negative, you will get only negative out of it.
If you consciously decided you were going to walk in the door, look at your partner in the eyes, take their hands, tell them you missed them so much, and they mean the world to you. You don’t know what you would do without them. You are so blessed to have them in your life, especially when things are tough, because who likes to go through tough times alone, I mean come on, that would be silly!
Do you think, perhaps you would get out of the relationship what you wanted?
Something positive. Like perhaps a kiss, even???
You can look at a pile of work on your desk, that Monday morning after the greatest weekend of your life, with your partner (if you so chose to bother coming back into the office, one more day of fun couldn’t hurt)- look at this work as the devil, or as the greatest challenge, and that you will succeed in accomplishing it. Even kick back with a glass or a bottle of red wine, after it is all done.
(Yes, on a Monday, and I use both a glass or a bottle, because I do not judge which one you chose, and we both know my choice, and I am not afraid to admit it. I work hard, and Monday’s can be crazy…)
What I am saying, and without pointing fingers, because if I were pointing fingers, and accidently stumbled by a mirror, there could be words, is that we all have to really come to term with things in our lives, and be honest with ourselves as to what needs to be done, BY US, for things to really go the way we want and deserve them to.
We can try again and again to blame others for the hardships, the struggles, the problems in our lives.
But for as many times as we do that, will be as many times as the hardships come back to haunt us.
I know, this is annoying.
I know for a fact looking back on every single instance in my life.
For all the times I thought something was going to be a struggle, guess what? IT WAS!
For all of the times, I decided “I am going to do this! Nothing and no one can stand in my way!” Guess What? I DID IT!
For all the times I feared I would fail? I DID!
For all the relationships I thought would end? THEY DID!
For all of the friendships that are and will be with me forever? THEY WILL!
So, think of it this way.
You can have what you want, and you can have it taken away.
It is up to you.
We will have times where things don’t go as planned.
And sometimes in life, we will get hurt, we will fall, and we will fall harder.
But remember this… You cannot control everything that happens in life, but you CAN control how you react to it.
So, if you are on your way home tonight, chose how you feel, what you are thinking, and chose best.
You can have a lovely weekend, a crappy weekend, it’s up to you.
So, don’t point the finger when you are upset with the course of your life, unless of course you are staring in front of a mirror.
Life is beautiful, if you say so!
LuCy sMiLeS
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