Once I turned 30, I finally did it. Got my tattoo. It was an experience in itself. It was worth waiting for and well deserved. It is one of the most meaningful things I have done for myself. And the time could not be better if I timed it from birth...
I was soooo ready (or so I thought I was) three years before, but it just never happened. Then, most specifically last year, for my 29th, I was planning this. It, again, never happened.
I am so blessed to have these 3 Goddesses on my back. They have been the walking force of what I hold true. True love for myself, and true gratitude for being the woman I am today.
I am able to walk with my head held high, and know that I am the only one responsible for what happens in my life. But when I feel a bit helpless, or scared, sad and unsure, they have my back!
Experiences truly happen to us when they need to. It is funny how wonderful life is in that way. Even when we think a situation is crazy, hard, unbearable, and unfair, it is meant to be right there, ready for us to react.
It is HOW we react that is key.
I just recently reacted to something, in a way, that 3 years ago, I wouldn't have reacted to quite like I did. That is for fricken certain!
My reaction 3 years ago would have been, and may I quote "Like a freaking nutbar drama queen!" Oh yes!
My point right now, is that it doesn't matter whatsoever what happens, because things are going to happen. That is for sure, they always do... It is how you react to it that allows you to be true.
True to the thoughts you have about life, true to the thoughts you have about yourself, and most importantly true to the thoughts you have about what you deserve, and what you feel should be part of your life
I reacted in a way that made me realize that even the hardest of times have a meaning. This hard time actually helped me shape the reason I am where I am, and where this is going to take me.
I call this type of realization walking in my "Secret Garden"...This is a garden I once had no idea existed... Then knew was there, but felt a fear of walking through.
Now, I open the gate, I walk through, and pay attentin to my breathe, my steps and what surrounds me on my walk.
I have to admit, I have a little help from my friends.
My friends, those three Goddesses on my back.
They keep me grounded.
We need to stop and reassess things when we start the negative tapes in our heads.
It is so important for us to remember what is important, when we let the little monsters that seem like big monsters, take over our thoughts.
When you find yourself talking down, justifying negative behaviour, or feeling sorry for yourself? Stop, and demand yourself to get out of your way.
We are the only people that stand in the way of our smiles, our happiness, and our achievements.
We have no guarantees in life, but we do have ourselves.
And we have to be with ourselves all day, everyday. So treat yourself with respect and love, and you will see that you are able to get through just about anything!
And if you don't believe me? Please prove me wrong.
But, have you not gotten through every single thing to now?
Take a trip to your Secret Garden... It is an amazing place to own. And, free! If you can imagine, free property! And you can create it however you wish, and change it whenever you wish. I think we forget that imagination is a blank canvas. And all ours! Set the colours scheme, the back drop, the forefront, the everything to whatever mood you wish. And if your mood is something to be desired, change your colour shceme. If you don't like what you see? Edit; start over; just erase it, and create the picture that you know will make you smile!
You get to react and live however you wish.
Be the person you wish you were, and you are more than half way there.
React to things the way you know would allow for the best end result.
We have to walk our paths taking from it only what we ourselves can, but with help from those around us, to hold our hands as we do so.
You would be surprised at how many people in your life are willig to walk you through your secret garden with you.
They would also love you to walk them through theirs.
That is the best thing, never having to walk alone, ever!!!
We all take from experiences what we need to grow, and move on to the next.
So enjoy having your secret garden to walk through when you need a break from the every day.
This secret garden is our "other mindset", the one that shows you what you may not see, on your regular walk through life. The one without programming. The intuitive, real and powerful thoughts. No tainting from the outside world. Just real and wonderful!
So when "they" say "The Grass is Greener on the other side of the fence!"
Your progammed self spent all this time thinking it was your neighbours yard, the yard you don't have, the nicer yard... This kept you living a life of scarcity.
That was never the truth. You just chose to believe it! Change your belief system.
The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, which, low and behold, is your SECRET GARDEN! You have the key to it! Imagine! That is right, imagine...
We are always given options.
There is never only one choice in life.
So, do yourself a favour make the best choices, and smile the brightest smiles.
It will never go unnoticed.
We can replace many things in our life, but we, ourselves, are irreplaceable.
Treat yourself as you deserve, not as you have been taugh to treat yourself.
Somethings can not be taught, and that is true love, for oursleves.
That comes from within. And if you cannot find it, just go for a walk in your secret garden. I guarantee you will find it there.
___
You will forget some things you once knew, maybe a thing, a thing or two.
But never forget you, never forget what you hold as true...
These would be the tough times,the reasons why you grew,
And most specifically, how you got yourself through...
Whether a time of happiness or a time of feeling blue...
You know that the next moment is all very brand new.
And enjoy your secret garden and those who walk it with you:)
LuCy sMiLeS
What would you call it?
You know when you are not sure what the answer is? You can warrant a guess, you can think of 2 more that it could be, but you are sooo second guessing yourself, you are sick to your stomach?
You're thinking, "Yes, I am sure this is it, this is the one, the one answer that is the right answer!" Or, say, you are sure what the answer is, completely confident! Then days later, or even just the afternoon... after the morning of knowing the answer... your answer is completely different? Both just as much justified as the other? And you wonder how you even thought the first answer was the right answer????
Back up.....
I may have gotten off track. I guess I just assume you understand exactly what I am saying, only becuase I understand.
K...
Life. It is about making decisions. Many many decisions. And, for the most part, we can at least be pretty much on track with what makes sense, and what doesn't. We have our integrity ( I hope) to allow us to make the ethical decisions... Those are the easy times, when we don't usually have to second guess what is right vs. wrong.
But then there is that in between. The "grey" area. That area where we know that one answer will be so crucial to the end outcome and that we go nuts overanalyzing what will become should we make one decision over another.
What would you call this?
We can call it "second guessing"... only chances are that we are third, forth..., and in advanced cases, fifth guessing. Because once we realize there is more than one option to take, we then sit, and and say to ourselves, "Well, hey if there is more than one,there is certainly more than two, and three, and so forth...
What we need to realize, in the end, with all this paranoia that we are going to change the course of our lives, and never be able to go back to make that decision over again, when questioning after making the decision, that "oh my gosh, perhaps that was the wrong decision" is:
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A WRONG DECISION!!!
Wow, really?
Yup, really.
I am looking back on all (well, maybe not all, my memory doesn't serve me that well) the decisions that got me to right here... right now...
This is where I am. I made every single decision to get me to now. Sitting, writing this blog, having a glass of wine... Hoping that I am going to make the right decisions for tomorrow, for Sunday... Most specifically, next week, and even more so the week after next.
But you know what?
I am not going to make the decisions for those times, right now. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Because every decision I make up to that time, will influence the decision I make then. So I needn't worry about it, and instead enjoy this moment... It's all I have. It is all any of us has.
And I know that so many exciting things can happen from this moment on, I am more excited to pay attention to those exciting things, than to skip ahead in my mind and try to make decisions for times that really don't even exist. They exist in my head now, but they will not, after I live the next minute, and make a decision in that moment to carry me onto the next.
That is what I will call a "second guess"- a guess this very second, for what is to come... Just that! A "guess'! I have no idea what it really is going to be, and what will really become of my life! That will only happen, when I walk through life, making intuitive decisions along the way.
So live for what IS, not for what you "guess" for things to become.
And while you are at it, "be" NOW, who you are wishing for you to "become" LATER. Because chances are the person you are wishing to "become" is actually "you" NOW... only you are stealing from your own potential, and deciding that you have more and more work to do on yourself to be that "better person" soon, or later...
Just let things be, do things you want to do, go with the flow, and let the flow take you sometimes, too.
We all need a break. And guess what? We are allowed.
And if you feel guilty for not always having all the answers... guess what? Neither do I, and neither does anyone you know... Yeah, even those who look, and may even act like they have all the answers.
And there is no right or wrong answer, when you do find yourself having an answer.
Your life will go on, the way it will, not the way it is "supposed to be."
There is no such thing. You and I have decided that, amongst all of our decisions.
No matter if you believe something else would have happened had you made the "other choice"... OF COURSE IT WOULD.
That is black and white.
But what does it matter? It didn't happen. And it never will, so it doesn't exist.
Isn't life complicated enough?
Do we REALLY have to sit and ponder the other lives we would lead?
Let's leave that for the after life, and just chill out, and and enjoy the life we have now.
This happened, this right now.That is all we have...
So you can enjoy it, embrace it, and be thankful for all that you have.
Or you can second guess everything you have ever done.
I myself don't have enough time for that.
There is too much to see, too much to live for...
And as for my initial question:
"What would you call it?
I have decided to take back
There is enough to decide already, why overanlayze things even more:)
_______
Something tells me there is more to see...
Definitely more than what I thought could be...
Don't think of what you could've done...Just do the things you do...
And try to do the best and right things just for you...
Oh, and have tons of fun doing it too...
LuCy sMiLeS
You're thinking, "Yes, I am sure this is it, this is the one, the one answer that is the right answer!" Or, say, you are sure what the answer is, completely confident! Then days later, or even just the afternoon... after the morning of knowing the answer... your answer is completely different? Both just as much justified as the other? And you wonder how you even thought the first answer was the right answer????
Back up.....
I may have gotten off track. I guess I just assume you understand exactly what I am saying, only becuase I understand.
K...
Life. It is about making decisions. Many many decisions. And, for the most part, we can at least be pretty much on track with what makes sense, and what doesn't. We have our integrity ( I hope) to allow us to make the ethical decisions... Those are the easy times, when we don't usually have to second guess what is right vs. wrong.
But then there is that in between. The "grey" area. That area where we know that one answer will be so crucial to the end outcome and that we go nuts overanalyzing what will become should we make one decision over another.
What would you call this?
We can call it "second guessing"... only chances are that we are third, forth..., and in advanced cases, fifth guessing. Because once we realize there is more than one option to take, we then sit, and and say to ourselves, "Well, hey if there is more than one,there is certainly more than two, and three, and so forth...
What we need to realize, in the end, with all this paranoia that we are going to change the course of our lives, and never be able to go back to make that decision over again, when questioning after making the decision, that "oh my gosh, perhaps that was the wrong decision" is:
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A WRONG DECISION!!!
Wow, really?
Yup, really.
I am looking back on all (well, maybe not all, my memory doesn't serve me that well) the decisions that got me to right here... right now...
This is where I am. I made every single decision to get me to now. Sitting, writing this blog, having a glass of wine... Hoping that I am going to make the right decisions for tomorrow, for Sunday... Most specifically, next week, and even more so the week after next.
But you know what?
I am not going to make the decisions for those times, right now. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Because every decision I make up to that time, will influence the decision I make then. So I needn't worry about it, and instead enjoy this moment... It's all I have. It is all any of us has.
And I know that so many exciting things can happen from this moment on, I am more excited to pay attention to those exciting things, than to skip ahead in my mind and try to make decisions for times that really don't even exist. They exist in my head now, but they will not, after I live the next minute, and make a decision in that moment to carry me onto the next.
That is what I will call a "second guess"- a guess this very second, for what is to come... Just that! A "guess'! I have no idea what it really is going to be, and what will really become of my life! That will only happen, when I walk through life, making intuitive decisions along the way.
So live for what IS, not for what you "guess" for things to become.
And while you are at it, "be" NOW, who you are wishing for you to "become" LATER. Because chances are the person you are wishing to "become" is actually "you" NOW... only you are stealing from your own potential, and deciding that you have more and more work to do on yourself to be that "better person" soon, or later...
Just let things be, do things you want to do, go with the flow, and let the flow take you sometimes, too.
We all need a break. And guess what? We are allowed.
And if you feel guilty for not always having all the answers... guess what? Neither do I, and neither does anyone you know... Yeah, even those who look, and may even act like they have all the answers.
And there is no right or wrong answer, when you do find yourself having an answer.
Your life will go on, the way it will, not the way it is "supposed to be."
There is no such thing. You and I have decided that, amongst all of our decisions.
No matter if you believe something else would have happened had you made the "other choice"... OF COURSE IT WOULD.
That is black and white.
But what does it matter? It didn't happen. And it never will, so it doesn't exist.
Isn't life complicated enough?
Do we REALLY have to sit and ponder the other lives we would lead?
Let's leave that for the after life, and just chill out, and and enjoy the life we have now.
This happened, this right now.That is all we have...
So you can enjoy it, embrace it, and be thankful for all that you have.
Or you can second guess everything you have ever done.
I myself don't have enough time for that.
There is too much to see, too much to live for...
And as for my initial question:
"What would you call it?
I have decided to take back
There is enough to decide already, why overanlayze things even more:)
_______
Something tells me there is more to see...
Definitely more than what I thought could be...
Don't think of what you could've done...Just do the things you do...
And try to do the best and right things just for you...
Oh, and have tons of fun doing it too...
LuCy sMiLeS
Water to a Flower
WATER TO A FLOWER:
Like water to a flower, her smile lights up the sky
Her warm heart sharing sunshine; her support holding you up high
Like water to a flower, and her presense fills the air...
Her walk, her style, and gracious being, all encaptures flare
Like water to a flower, she'll applaud you as you run
She believes, cares and appreciates all that makes you one.
Like water to a flower, she will be there until the end
Her kind soul always thriving on a believing in a friend.
Jenn, you have an amazing way of scattering sunshine and good cheer wherever you are.
Thank you for all of you support in me making my dreams come true, you are truly one of the most amazing women I have surrounded myself with, and I am so excited to see where the world will take us...
~grace
a.k.a
LuCy sMiLeS
Like water to a flower, her smile lights up the sky
Her warm heart sharing sunshine; her support holding you up high
Like water to a flower, and her presense fills the air...
Her walk, her style, and gracious being, all encaptures flare
Like water to a flower, she'll applaud you as you run
She believes, cares and appreciates all that makes you one.
Like water to a flower, she will be there until the end
Her kind soul always thriving on a believing in a friend.
Jenn, you have an amazing way of scattering sunshine and good cheer wherever you are.
Thank you for all of you support in me making my dreams come true, you are truly one of the most amazing women I have surrounded myself with, and I am so excited to see where the world will take us...
~grace
a.k.a
LuCy sMiLeS
Serendipity, and all her stumbles...
Look back at the person you were…11 years ago.
What about the person you were 11 months ago.
11 weeks…
11 days…
I am stretching it (the dyslexic version) to 11 minutes.
(And yes, 11, my number, the one and only. Well, the “one” and only, and then another “one”… and on with it…lol)
We are always being introduced to someone at some point or another who allows us to learn something new about ourselves.
I firmly believe that we are meant to stumble across and converse with these individuals,
for specific learning curves, lessons, reflections on our own lives, through learning and having a deeper understanding of theirs.
Also, when I look back on some of the people I have met, say years, months, or even days ago, I also notice I am a different person, overall, since meeting these particular people.
Quite different. My energy is different; better… I am more in tune, with the universe. I am so much more in tune with me.
Even when sometimes, right at the beginning of theirs or my parting of ways, I may feel less then better, more sad, than the happy I felt with their presence.
You with me? Keep walking, I think you will get it…
I realize that some people are, as we know the quote; in our lives for a “reason, a season, or a lifetime.”
I think it rather important to understand, and not question why these people have to go, when they do. Because, we will have a chance to look back, later, and realize that the life we are leading is a life with much more purpose since having met them.
I had an experience recently, where I actually had a second stumble.
One of which made me step back and realize that this person would not fit in my life the way that it is now.
But my now would not be the same, not be so good, without their presence then.
(And BTW, none of you reading this are this person, and I am happy to say that…)
The dynamic of the relationship, then, when it was strong, was strong when it need be.
And needn’t be any longer! So 11 somethings later when this person was reintroduced, I had a second reflection.
Both parties having learned the lessons needed from being in each others presence, at that special time.
It is wonderful… We are different from when we first met; when we related; when we departed; when we were reintroduced.
I also look at this as an understanding of how energy works. The person I was, then, and the person this individual was, then, matched each other in order to meet.
In the second reunion, the energy was not a match. There was nothing to be learned. This was actually transformational in my mind.
I felt for certain those 11 somethings ago that this person was certainly in my life for more than a reason. I was convinced!
This understanding was now magical, but moreover, logical- the logic allowing me to feel a sense of calm, not just for this situation, but as a preparation for instances to come.
To understand and be more accepting of the future, and all those who will walk in my path with me; all those who may change paths as we walk, turn when I continue to go straight, or just stop altogether, as I keep walking, turning, skipping, hopping, jumping, crawling, and sometimes kicking and screaming...
It is for a reason…
It has allowed me to look back, on other times, people, other “serendipitous” stumbles…
I get it now. I really do, and it is all fine, and I am more than fine because of it.
I’ve reflected on the reasons, I’ve sensed the seasons, and I love the lifetimes…
So if you may feel sad when a relationship ends, and you were convinced it was one of a lifetime, don’t’ worry…
You too will see what amazing things you took from this relationship, and truly understand, soon, if not already, that your life is now open to stumbling across many more people that will be in your life to teach you, provide you with guidance, offer their support, grab onto you arm when you feel you are falling, assist you with overcoming hurdles, or put a smile on your face… You name it, they will find you, and you will find them too!
And know in your heart and soul, that if they go, they may come back, and as energy would have it, if there is still a match, there will be light flickering for the relationship to be rekindled.
If not, that is ok too… And so are you.
~LuCy sMiLeS
She is...
She is a breath of fresh air amidst the chaotic of days…
Her presence captures light in the most magical ways.
She is a symbol of femininity; an image of wondrous might!
Her drive for success is looked up to, as she never loses sight…
She takes notice in the little things, finding beauty in all she sees
Her laughter and her smile put even the most stressful times at ease.
She is one of those delicate souls whose beauty is entrancing, sweet, and kind…
Her friendship, her love, her passion of the most incomparable to find.
~grace
Her presence captures light in the most magical ways.
She is a symbol of femininity; an image of wondrous might!
Her drive for success is looked up to, as she never loses sight…
She takes notice in the little things, finding beauty in all she sees
Her laughter and her smile put even the most stressful times at ease.
She is one of those delicate souls whose beauty is entrancing, sweet, and kind…
Her friendship, her love, her passion of the most incomparable to find.
~grace
What if...?
What if I never had the chance to say "I love you" once more... what if?
What if your hand was not there for me to kiss and adore... what if?
What if I couldn't laugh at your joke, blush at your wink, ponder at questions you've caused me to think... what if?
What if your cold nose no longer pressed up against mine... what if?
What if I couldn't grab you so close to be sure you were fine... what if?
What if we weren't smiling in bliss, expressing our care, joining our heart with an amiable stare... what if?
Then no more will I risk the chance that it may
That it may, some or all, ever be taken away.
For the only promise we have is to be here and be now
This can at any time be taken from us... taken, somehow.
Enjoy every love, every laugh... and enjoy every wink ...
And the moments that cause you to be tickled so pink.
Remember to smile, and to show that you care
Whether to say "I love you", or express in a stare
We are often bombarded by the craze of the day...
But can never be certain it won't be taken away.
If you love, then love deeply, show passion and bliss
For remember if all taken, so much you would miss.
What if you had only one special moment, just one special gift.
What if only at this time can you proclaim love and gratitude... what if?
What if your hand was not there for me to kiss and adore... what if?
What if I couldn't laugh at your joke, blush at your wink, ponder at questions you've caused me to think... what if?
What if your cold nose no longer pressed up against mine... what if?
What if I couldn't grab you so close to be sure you were fine... what if?
What if we weren't smiling in bliss, expressing our care, joining our heart with an amiable stare... what if?
Then no more will I risk the chance that it may
That it may, some or all, ever be taken away.
For the only promise we have is to be here and be now
This can at any time be taken from us... taken, somehow.
Enjoy every love, every laugh... and enjoy every wink ...
And the moments that cause you to be tickled so pink.
Remember to smile, and to show that you care
Whether to say "I love you", or express in a stare
We are often bombarded by the craze of the day...
But can never be certain it won't be taken away.
If you love, then love deeply, show passion and bliss
For remember if all taken, so much you would miss.
What if you had only one special moment, just one special gift.
What if only at this time can you proclaim love and gratitude... what if?
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